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You get the text from your friend, the dreaded text, (ok, or call, but I’m a millennial so for me it’s a text) and they ask you and your partner to come to an expensive meal with them and their partner at this really fancy restaurant. We’re talking a restaurant where dinner for two and a glass of wine each will cost more than your weekly food budget. What do you do? Of course you want to go. You want to see your friends, you’ve heard this restaurant is amazing, and you’ve been doing so well with your budget, don’t you just deserve a nice night out? STOP. Right there, stop. If you have to try to justify that it’s ok to yourself, you know it isn’t ok. You know that as much as you want to go to this expensive meal out, it will move you away from your big picture money goals instead of towards them. You know you’ll have to sacrifice to dig yourself out from under this bill, much less get ahead with your money. So what do you do?
Option 1:
The counter offer. Suggest doing something else for dinner. For example: there’s this new recipe we’ve really been wanting to try that looks so good, but it’s too much food to cook for just the two of us. Would you guys like to come over for dinner instead? Make sure you share all the really good details about the recipe that you are dying to try. Need inspiration? Check out the Thug Kitchen Cookbook, The Skinnytaste Cookbook, The Pioneer Woman Cooks or Vivian Howard’s Cookbook.
Option 2:
Say no. This can be as simple as “I’m sorry we can’t.” You can be honest and say “we’re on a budget and that expensive meal out is just a little pricey for us right now”. Or you can simply say “I’m sorry, but we already have plans.” I prefer the straightforward route because if they are truly your friends, they should care more about spending time with you than about making you spend money you aren’t comfortable spending. And if they aren’t, are they really your friends? Now they may still want to go to the restaurant and if it aligns with their budget and their goals then they definitely should, but it doesn’t mean that you should do something out of line with your goals.
So where’s option 3?
There is no option 3. You are a strong person who is capable of achieving whatever big picture budget goals you have set for yourself. You aren’t going to bail on the plan just because of temptation. You’re going to remind yourself of your why. Why did you set that goal? Why are you giving it your all? What are you working towards and how good is it going to feel when you get there? You’re going to remind yourself that there will be more opportunities to spend time with your friends and more chances to try that expensive meal out. You’re going to remind yourself that you can achieve your goal. You can. Life is all about choices and sometimes the toughest ones are the most important.
Now if eating out is something that you really value, you should make sure that your budget has room to eat out. It doesn’t mean you eat out all the time, but occasionally you can treat yourself. You need to make sure that your budget reflects your values and goals so that you can enjoy life while you work towards your budget goals or towards debt freedom.